Friday, August 14, 2015

There's the rub..

As most people who know me or follow my tumblr know, I suffer from depression. Not just the temporary feel bad and mope kind but the debilitating, turn off my ability to life kind. I am happy for those whose depression leaves and never comes back. I feel more like Smeagol, who gets Gollum to leave only for him to return when things don't go very well. My vitality fades and my desire to do anything goes up in smoke. As one might imagine that is the kind I am dealing with now.

The Walkabout has been good in a number of ways but Depression simply drags me down. And one of my main ways to battle depression is to write. Alas, I have not been able to really write fiction since my surgery. And there's the rub.

If writing helps me through depression and I can't write does that mean I'm stuck? Well, I don't know. I had a major surgery and those take a good bit of energy to recover from and I am aware that things are still healing. So if it is simply a healing thing, then that will work itself out. If as the voices say, that I can no longer write, then I don't know. I will address that issue when and if that seems to be the case.

Oddly enough I can do non-fiction writing, as evidenced by my continued posting on FemHype. That seems like a suitable stopgap measure and so I am dealing with it. Writing on this and the Walkabout blog have been helpful. Creative non-fiction is a thing and I have been doing some of it. I figure, that so long as I can write something then the fear that I have lost the knack will fade. I hope.

Anyway, that's what I have been up to, fighting ghosts and struggling with uncooperative fingers.

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